wth.

sometimes i just think i make wrong decisions more than the right ones. like u hafta compromise to make another [party/parties] happy. but the kind thing is that it doesn't always happen lah. well, when it happens, it's not fun. and u know dis kinda things, nobody ever tries to be honest and truthful abt it? like u won't wanna hurt the person in the dilemna and stuff. but somehow at the back of ur head, u know that they actually mind? and they're actually unhappy and maybe label u as "pangseh" or anything lidat? u know, and the cost of it all is that whenever they haf any outings or gatherings, u just won't be involved anymore. coz probably they feel that u won't wanna join them anymore. u know? it sucks. really do. sometimes, when we try to prioritise, pple do get upset. how can i ever juggle both sides? both are of equal importance to me, i can't afford to lose either of them.

that aside. pple asked me before, is it worth calling those pple who labels u, a "friend"? it is of coz logical and legitimate that true friends don't call u that. but i told my friend, "if i don't try so hard to try to please both sides, at the end of the day, who can i really call friend? and maybe the most impt point here is that, i don't haf much friends. friends that i'm so comfortable wif, if i lose them, who can i turn to if i really needed someone?" ain't it true? ur friends tried to ask u out, and u've turned them down, like quite a few times. will they still ask u? or will u still ask them if they've turned u down a few times? well, i don't blame anybody here. maybe it's simply because, i'm not too good at organizing my time and managing my priorities? hmm. i don't know. just feeling really lousy now. definitely if any of my friends who knows what i'm refering to, they'll say, don't bother abt us lah, we understand.

* do they? *