vindicated.

just read her blog. totally mis-understood. seems like she still doesn't know how i treat my gf. she compared the topics and the way i talk to jp and amanda wif her. wth. how can we just compare like that? i'm stressed? the reason why i'm stressed is just coz i do not know what i can talk to her abt and we share so many things together, i don't even know when to say certain things. but to amanda and jp, the reason why i can talk so freely and "happily" is simply coz i can say anything i want, without having tp bear the thought whetehr i might hurt her anot. i mean, if i say something wrongly, i just hafta say "okay lah, don't angry lah." and we haf no right to bear grudges. but for her!! i must bear in mind what to say and what not to say, which added on another thing in mind is to be tactful! and i'm happy to be mindful always when i talk to her, because i care abt her feelings and i enjoy being mindful lah! but now she thinks that i enjoy talking to jp and amanda more than her. its so not true lah! dis few days, had been struggling wif my thoughts, like since we've broken up, why are we still so close? won't it be harder for both of us to forget? and whenever i meet up wif her or when i'm wif her, i just feel a sense of "home" lah. so comfortable and nice to be wif her. so many so many times when i'm wif her, i just wanna hold her hand and say "i still love u." but i can't!! i cannot bear to hurt her again! i don't mind being hurt, but i can't hurt her. i just can't bring myself to do it lah. but now, totally vindicated. damn sian, nobody understands me that well afterall. nvm, i'm used to it. just feeling kinda sad now, really sad.

*vindicated, i'm selfish, i'm wrong.*