shit.

sometimes i really wonder should i even tell her how i really feel? honesty and communication, but i feel tt i really haf no say in dis r/s. she's always right and i'm always wrong. i don't know i'm facing her problems now. last time she also used to think tt i don't love her anymore, and now i'm feeling dis way. to her, its just like pay back time, but to me, its genuine. nowadays, she don't even bother to give in even a lil. to her, its still a hard and fuss rule tt a guy should gif in. how can i ever get my feelings across to her? i don't wanna gif dis r/s up, coz i really wanna commit my life to dis beautifully created lady. but how long is dis feeling in me gonna prolong? i was really hoping tt she'd call me and sort things out wif me after i switched off my com. i stayed awake and pray, i stayed awake and wait for her call, but nothing. is it my fault again dis time? maybe to her, she's angry over the small thing tt she thought i got pissed. and i think she's thinking tt "why should i apologize? he's so petty, small small thing also wanna make a big fuss out of it." well, i don't know. maybe i'm really too petty? but dis is really not affecting me. what's affecting me is the feeling i haf. why do i haf the feeling? is there something specific tt she'd done? how can we get on track again? is bliss a form of denial? coz i feel tt whenever i tell her my point of view, we'll quarrel, and whenever i agree wif her even if sometimes i don't, we're both happy. haiz, i really don't know. i really hope dis time she'll understand why i'm coming from. even if she don't, i really really hope she'll put down her idealogy [guys must give in] and gif me a call to at least ask what's wrong.

*Lord i wanna commit dis r/s into ur hands once again. Bless us, guide us. Amen.*