damned.

am i really born lousy? i feel lousy. at first in the morning, i felt tt i should gif her a call and ask if she manages to wake up in time. hoping tt my call will be some sort of a "signal" to her, tt "hey, i'm fine now! let's move on." but the call was bad. she just said "bye! [call ended 0.34 mins]" and at tt time, i felt shit again. argh. whatever. so i stayed in my bed, thinking of stuff. and i remembered the Christmas present she gave me. so i changed the tag. and i happened to chance upon dis tag tt says, "even though we fight alot, but i still love u. *hugs*". when i saw tt, i was very much re-assured, and i felt kinda guilty of making her feel so bad last night. so i smsed her the exact words from the tag, hoping tt she knows i feel the same way as the tag described. seriously, i didn't expect her to reply, coz i know she won't. but she replied!! she asked if i'm having lunch at home. so i thought things are alright already. and i replied "unless i've got a date lor. u wanna date me? haha." but u know what? the sms conversation ends there. den i was like thinking, "did i sound too happy?" but i didn't haf the answer. so i switched on my com and read her blog. oh my goodness, my happiness level fell to a negative million. its all a whole new issue tt she's angry wif. its something tt has nvr occured to me the whole night and morning. me being self-centered. but tt's what she felt!! after reading it, i think she knows me better than i do. and there's nothing much for me to refutate abt. tt's all. i feel lousily damned, and damn lousy.