why?

don't know why somehow i'll always feel what she used to feel. she felt tt sometimes she shouldn't try so hard, coz the harder or more she put in, the more disappointments u'll get. and i'm feeling teh exact same way now. don't know, i thought everything was okay, until i read her blog. damn! so hard for me to swallow the fact tt she likes to be alone!! aiyah, i'm really giving up on myself. i think i'm really possessive. like yesterday night when she went chilling wif her friends. i asked myself, what does it mean for a group of 19 yr olds females going one fullerton and clarke quay at abt 10.30pm. i've tried to flood myself wif stuff tt are healthy doing there. but somehow, nothing else came to me except, wine, drunk, alcohol and perverts. quite a few pple are telling me to trust her, to know tt she can take care of herself. maybe they're right. but its easier said than done. i don't know. i'm really at lost. think blogging really hurts. think dis will be my last entry. anyway, i know i still haf friends, not really close friends, but at least i know they cafre and meant well for me. but as for her, i don't know, i seriously need to sit down and think through, how should i go abt getting over dis possessiveness shit and the trust thing. dis is so tough. really.