theories.

1. God
2. Family
3. Love life
4. Career
5. Studies
6. Miscellaneous

some pple say they'll put God first in their priorities in lives.

1. Family
2. Love life
   God
   
3. Career
4. Studies
5. Miscellaneous

Some will say they put God in the center of their lives.

1. Family
   God
   
2. Love life
   God
   
3. Career
   God
   
4. Studies
   God
   
5. Miscellaneous

some idiot say he'll put God in all his priorities in life.

looking back, that idiot had failed terribly.
did he even try?
yes, he did! i won't say he didn't.
did he succeed?
what is success?
on what grounds is somebody judged as successful?

so why did that idiot fail?
coz he didn't learn from the process of trying.
he was too determined to see results,
and rushed thru the process.

in the end,
he only learns that he fell again.
if God only looks at the results,
why would He put us on earth
and not in heaven straight away?

from lesmong's warped theory:
earth is like OCS (Officer Cadet School)
heaven is like a place of deliverance.
God puts u on earth to train u,
drill u, tekan u, scold u.
once in a while got welfare,
den train u, drill u, tekan, scold u again.
and when u die on earth (commissioned from OCS),
u'll be an honourable officer in the unit,
or rather be an honourable child of God!

so is earth a place for selfish beings like us,
to train and teach us.
so that we won't take God's love for us for granted?

i don't know..
none can fathom what God holds for us.
all i know is that,
God loved us to an unconceivable point!
and that's not cliche,
if u ever think it is.

emo?

pple had been telling me that i'm emo. very emo meh? hahahha! really trying to post something happy, but i can't!! and i cannot resist blogging. how? really alot of pple tell me i emo sia. don, mayteng, caleb, furong, joanna, charlee and etc etc. can't rmb them off hand!

and so there was the song segment today! actually i'm quite happy that its over. part of me is happy coz i don't hafta be so conscious of my behaviour and be super ultra sensitive to that still small voice.. don't get me wrong! not coz its bad or i'm going wayward and abt to renounce my faith or backslide. NO, I'M NOT! just that it's tiring and frustrating coz i don't hear em!!

but i really wanna thank God for the opportunity to lead today. coz it got me thinking and focusing on what i haven't been thinking of for the past month? why do we actually serve? its interesting how reasons can just pop up in my head and imagining devil des and angel des arguing over a certain thought. just to spice it up, here's one eg.

angel des: i serve God coz i love Him.
devil des: don't bullshit lah.
angel des: i serve God coz He's worth it and coz He first loved me.
devil des: whatever lah huh? (distract real des wif the thought of the special someone.)
devil des: ah see! so easily distracted, still say coz you love Him. pui.
angel des: okay, focus. yah ar? why i serve in church ar?
devil des: why why why? don't know right!
real des: sian, why do i actually spend so many saturdays in church? for what? glamour of standing on stage? get better view of girls when i'm on stage? huh? really meh? wah, sian!

yes, that's only ONE eg.. those who know me better, knows that i can engage in a monologue. and they're always v entertained by it. when they got to know me a lil more, they find it freaky.. hahahha!! so don't come and befriend me. i'm not as simple as u think i am!

on a more serious note, i think.. wait wait. before i continue, i wanna clarify! i'm not being emo here! just being serious! u can't be joking all ur life right? so don't mix emo and serious together!

yah, so i think its impt for us to reminisce the very first time we were passionate for God. to rmb that God is real and that's why we're serving a living God, and not chasing wild goose! just like how God reminded the israelites back in history, He brought them out of egypt. why? coz we absent-minded humans are very easily distracted! and wif His abundant grace, He steers us back to what happened. instead of getting all upset wif us.. i think lah. dis is my personal opinion! if u strongly disagree, den set up ur own blog and complain lor! oh, rmb to link me coz i wanna see ur point of disagreement! and if u agree, my tagboard's available and user-friendly. leave a msg to tell me how smart i am! hahahahaha!!

somewhat or rather.

different from my other posts, today i blog with full sentences. been thinking abt various issues these days and for those who know me for a couple of years by now, yes. i'm drifting back to where i've been stuck for so long before. insecurities!

lack of confidence or assurance; self-doubt
how dictionary.com puts in. and that brings me back to one of the dinners i had with pauline. we somehow touched on the topic "what things make u feel secure?" and we concluded that security can only be found in Jesus. of coz that would be the tys ans, but how do we exactly find security in Jesus? if i know, i wouldn't be vexed now.. hahhaa!

okay, now i know when i don't type in long sentences. coz by the time i reach a fullstop, my thoughts for the next sentence gets lost!! hahahaha! how to write essays lidat? is that why i'm an engineer by education, vocation and even by default? hahaha! seriously, i'm like blogging nonsense now. so u can stop reading if u're bored at dis point in time. eh? is dis what pple call 'insecurity'?

i think, its abt time i revert back to my forte! LOVE! not that i'm exceptional in dis area, in fact quite a failure in it. but i LOVE to talk abt L-O-V-E! seriously, whether i'm in or out of love, i still like to talk abt love. well, at least charmaine goh pointed that out to me her observation on my 'craving' to bitch on love. hahaha!

but on a serious note, learnt something from my qt ytd and would like to share wif all my faithful silent readers out there. there's dis line that caught my attention for quite a while.
oswald chambers put it dis way: If what we call love doesn't take us beyond ourselves, it is not really love. If we have the idea that love is characterized as cautious, wise, sensible, shrewd, and never taken to extremes, we have missed the true meaning. This may describe affection and it may bring us a warm feeling, but it is not a true and accurate description of love.

see! told u i love talking abt love? i mentioned one sentence but ended up typing the whole paragraph! hahhha! and as i do my qt and pondered a lil further, i realise that sometimes or in fact all the time, God doesn't feel loved when we give Him small gifts like our monetary offerings or that 10-15 mins of ur meaningless busy day to pray. but God wants us to be surrendered unto Him. giving him our ALL. including our very own lives.

and at dis very crucial yet frustrating crossroad of my wretched life, its inevitable that i'll take things into my own hands and make worldly decisions. what am i gonna do after ord? study full time work part time, or work full time study part time, or work 1yr first den study later, or study first den work later, when to apply for a job and all that! and the best part is, all the closing dates clash!! and after i read my qt material, i realised how much haf i depended on myself. how often do i crown myself as 'god'.

its hard isn't it? my dad once said in chinese, "buy car easy, maintain car difficult". and Jesus would tell u the same thing, "baptize easy, but taking up the cross difficult". hahaha! err, i hope dis is not a blasphemy? but anyways, yah!

i urge all of u folks out there! to consider what are some areas in ur lives where u made urself 'god' and left the real God out of the picture. do u really love God?

hmm?

am i being sensitive?
or is it really true.
am i being demanding?
or is it only u?

we've sorted dis a thousand over,
but each wk, it just gets even colder.
we've sorted dis a thousand over,
is it just coz of dis, that we're colder.

each time we meet,
i feel its just a facade.
each time we greet,
i feel its just so hard.

u've moved on in life,
wif what u think pleases Him most.
now u've found ur joy,
so hold unto Him ever so close.

meanwhile i'll just try to fight,
to the day i see the light.
career, calling all so bleek,
i hope its only God i'll seek.

u may say that i'm shallow,
u may say the choice is clear.
surely all these i alr know,
things that i struggle wif,
are just so dear.

u may not know who u are,
but that's not impt alr lah.
maybe one day i'll tell u.
dis, mister. i promise u!

faith.

Psalm 119:105:

"Your word is a lamp
to my feet and a
light for my path."

When you walk through the woods
on a dark evening
carrying a lantern or flashlight,
the illumination is
merely enough for taking the next step.

only after you take that step,
do you have light
for the step beyond.
but that is all you need.

singletines.

hey all!
happy valentines to all happily coupled.
happy singletines to all happily single!

to all couples,
u all haf ur share of love.
so screw off.

to all singles,
let's share a song together!
its sung in the tune of
"Jesus loves me this i know."

here it goes.

Jesus loves us this we know.
For the bible tells us so.
Singles, u are not alone,
We are loved by He who's throned.

everybody sing~

YES, JESUS LOVES US.
YES, JESUS LOVES US.
YES, JESUS LOVES US.
THE BIBLE TELLS US SO!!

Happy Singletines Day!!

exhausted?

exhaustion means that our vital energies are completely worn out nd spent. spiritual exhaustion is nvr the result of sin, but of service. whether or not u experience exhaustion will depend on where u get ur supplies. Jesus said to Peter, "Feed my sheep," but He gave him nothing with which to feed them (John 21:17). the process of being made broken bread and poured-out wine means the u haf to be the nourishment for other pple's souls until they learn to feed on God. They must drain u completely - to the very last drop. but be careful to replenish ur supply, or u'll quickly be utterly exhausted. until others learn to draw life of the Lord Jesus directly, they'll hafta draw on His life thru u. u must literally be their source of supply, until they learn to take their nourishment from God. we owe it to God to be our best for His lambs and sheep, as well as for Him.

haf u delivered urself over to exhaustion because of the way u've been serving God? if so, then renew and rekindle ur desires and affections. examine ur reasons for service. is ur source based on ur own understanding or is it grounded on the redemption of Jesus Christ? continually look back to the foundation of love and affection and rmb where ur source of power lies. u haf no right to complain, "O Lord, i'm so exhausted." he saved and sanctified u to exhaust u. be exhausted for God, but rmb that He's ur supply. "All my springs are in u" (Psalm 87:7).

Do you not know?
Have you not heard?
The Lord is the everlasting God,
the Creator of the ends of the earth.
He will not grow tired or weary,
and His understanding
no one can fathom.

Isaiah 40:28

ORD!!

as my title explains.
i JUST (yes zing, just!) received
my ORD letter!!

OPERATIONAL READINESS DATE: 6 MAY 2008*

1. We thank you for your contributions to full-time National Service and would like to inform you that your Operational Readiness Date(ORD) is reflected as above.


HAHAHHAA!!
yes, i'm very happy.
yess, i've been waiting for dis day.
yesss, i'm nuts.
yessss, I'M GONNA ORD IN 3 MTHS!!