somewhat or rather.
different from my other posts, today i blog with full sentences. been thinking abt various issues these days and for those who know me for a couple of years by now, yes. i'm drifting back to where i've been stuck for so long before. insecurities!
lack of confidence or assurance; self-doubt
how dictionary.com puts in. and that brings me back to one of the dinners i had with pauline. we somehow touched on the topic "what things make u feel secure?" and we concluded that security can only be found in Jesus. of coz that would be the tys ans, but how do we exactly find security in Jesus? if i know, i wouldn't be vexed now.. hahhaa!
okay, now i know when i don't type in long sentences. coz by the time i reach a fullstop, my thoughts for the next sentence gets lost!! hahahaha! how to write essays lidat? is that why i'm an engineer by education, vocation and even by default? hahaha! seriously, i'm like blogging nonsense now. so u can stop reading if u're bored at dis point in time. eh? is dis what pple call 'insecurity'?
i think, its abt time i revert back to my forte! LOVE! not that i'm exceptional in dis area, in fact quite a failure in it. but i LOVE to talk abt L-O-V-E! seriously, whether i'm in or out of love, i still like to talk abt love. well, at least charmaine goh pointed that out to me her observation on my 'craving' to bitch on love. hahaha!
but on a serious note, learnt something from my qt ytd and would like to share wif all my faithful silent readers out there. there's dis line that caught my attention for quite a while.
oswald chambers put it dis way: If what we call love doesn't take us beyond ourselves, it is not really love. If we have the idea that love is characterized as cautious, wise, sensible, shrewd, and never taken to extremes, we have missed the true meaning. This may describe affection and it may bring us a warm feeling, but it is not a true and accurate description of love.
see! told u i love talking abt love? i mentioned one sentence but ended up typing the whole paragraph! hahhha! and as i do my qt and pondered a lil further, i realise that sometimes or in fact all the time, God doesn't feel loved when we give Him small gifts like our monetary offerings or that 10-15 mins of ur meaningless busy day to pray. but God wants us to be surrendered unto Him. giving him our ALL. including our very own lives.
and at dis very crucial yet frustrating crossroad of my wretched life, its inevitable that i'll take things into my own hands and make worldly decisions. what am i gonna do after ord? study full time work part time, or work full time study part time, or work 1yr first den study later, or study first den work later, when to apply for a job and all that! and the best part is, all the closing dates clash!! and after i read my qt material, i realised how much haf i depended on myself. how often do i crown myself as 'god'.
its hard isn't it? my dad once said in chinese, "buy car easy, maintain car difficult". and Jesus would tell u the same thing, "baptize easy, but taking up the cross difficult". hahaha! err, i hope dis is not a blasphemy? but anyways, yah!
i urge all of u folks out there! to consider what are some areas in ur lives where u made urself 'god' and left the real God out of the picture. do u really love God?
lack of confidence or assurance; self-doubt
how dictionary.com puts in. and that brings me back to one of the dinners i had with pauline. we somehow touched on the topic "what things make u feel secure?" and we concluded that security can only be found in Jesus. of coz that would be the tys ans, but how do we exactly find security in Jesus? if i know, i wouldn't be vexed now.. hahhaa!
okay, now i know when i don't type in long sentences. coz by the time i reach a fullstop, my thoughts for the next sentence gets lost!! hahahaha! how to write essays lidat? is that why i'm an engineer by education, vocation and even by default? hahaha! seriously, i'm like blogging nonsense now. so u can stop reading if u're bored at dis point in time. eh? is dis what pple call 'insecurity'?
i think, its abt time i revert back to my forte! LOVE! not that i'm exceptional in dis area, in fact quite a failure in it. but i LOVE to talk abt L-O-V-E! seriously, whether i'm in or out of love, i still like to talk abt love. well, at least charmaine goh pointed that out to me her observation on my 'craving' to bitch on love. hahaha!
but on a serious note, learnt something from my qt ytd and would like to share wif all my faithful silent readers out there. there's dis line that caught my attention for quite a while.
oswald chambers put it dis way: If what we call love doesn't take us beyond ourselves, it is not really love. If we have the idea that love is characterized as cautious, wise, sensible, shrewd, and never taken to extremes, we have missed the true meaning. This may describe affection and it may bring us a warm feeling, but it is not a true and accurate description of love.
see! told u i love talking abt love? i mentioned one sentence but ended up typing the whole paragraph! hahhha! and as i do my qt and pondered a lil further, i realise that sometimes or in fact all the time, God doesn't feel loved when we give Him small gifts like our monetary offerings or that 10-15 mins of ur meaningless busy day to pray. but God wants us to be surrendered unto Him. giving him our ALL. including our very own lives.
and at dis very crucial yet frustrating crossroad of my wretched life, its inevitable that i'll take things into my own hands and make worldly decisions. what am i gonna do after ord? study full time work part time, or work full time study part time, or work 1yr first den study later, or study first den work later, when to apply for a job and all that! and the best part is, all the closing dates clash!! and after i read my qt material, i realised how much haf i depended on myself. how often do i crown myself as 'god'.
its hard isn't it? my dad once said in chinese, "buy car easy, maintain car difficult". and Jesus would tell u the same thing, "baptize easy, but taking up the cross difficult". hahaha! err, i hope dis is not a blasphemy? but anyways, yah!
i urge all of u folks out there! to consider what are some areas in ur lives where u made urself 'god' and left the real God out of the picture. do u really love God?
posted by am i me? at 12:46 PM
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