grand dads.

i was sneaking a break in the afternoon,
and tuned in to the funeral of Dr Goh Keng Swee.
dis sort of broadcast naturally attracts my attention,
maybe coz i like to see how their 'nuggets' of life told.

apart from the detailed and solemn ceremonial rites,
i was looking forward to the eulogies given by the 5.
and among the 5, the speeches from his grandchildren
tugged a lil at my heartstrings.

i was envious of them,
not because of their distinguished birth.
but it was the kindred spirit and great adoration,
they had of their grandfather/granduncle.

and i thought to myself,
"if only i had a grandfather to confide in as well.."
i don't haf the privilege or luxury to haf advices,
or even nags from a grandparent anymore.

maybe that's why i tend to confide in pple,
who are much much older than me.
coz somehow, they seem to haf gotten out of the 'rat race',
and could assure and help me refocus on the big picture..

i wish i had somebody who could influence my thoughts,
advise me on tough decisions i'm laid wif,
telling me history that books couldn't cover,
keeping me in check..

ahh, in such subtle melancholy
i tread back to my books,
only again to find myself drained and alone.
sometimes even lost.

is it again a signal,
that i ought to find a mentor?
i don't know,
but i'll do what i do best. wait.