sinned.

i was weak,
i was tempted.
above all that,
i gave in to temptation..

i used to think consequences were one-off atonement.
because of the influence of the world today,
even in the judiciary..
consequences are often construed as a sentence.

with my foolishness,
i used to think consequences are quenched by atonement.
with my ignorance,
i tried to use leniency to mitigate the price due..

like king david, who consequently wrote psalm 51
was going through dis exact same situation i find myself in.
he was tempted by beersheba..
lust led to guilt, which led to cover up and finally murder.

i find myself trying to cover up my sins,
by hoping and praying and devising my own leniency.
in a bid for self-righteousness and pride,
i covered up over and over.

james summarized the consequence of sin.
it reads in james 1:14,
"... but each one is tempted when, by his own evil desire,
he is dragged away and enticed."

it goes on in verse 15,
"then, after desire has conceived,
it gives birth to sin; and sin when full grown,
gives birth to death."

so after all that david has done to cover up,
the consequence meted by nature was an illegitimate pregnancy.
and when david realises that he has no more options but to plead,
he pleaded that God would at least spare the child.

as we all know, prophet nathan heard from God and told david,
that the child will surely die.
so being so guilty and miserable, david continued to fast and petition.
but to no avail..

through these all,
in reference to psalm 51,
i've learnt from david as well,
that i've sinned against God and only to Him..

if only i had the clarity of mind,
and was disciplined and in tuned wif the Holy Spirit earlier.
these wouldn't haf happened.
but in any case, regret breeds no good ending..

and once king david received news that the child died once delivered,
he rose up from his fast and led his life once again.
dis time, he knows that God has forgiven him,
and death has alr taken place, time to move on.

and so the story goes,
david took beersheba as his concubine,
and the next son, which is solomon
was made king over israel after david.

so after all these, what needs to be learnt?
first and foremost, hear and obey.
do not be enticed and sin,
because sin causes death, inevitably..

Lord, save me from bloodguilt, O God,
the God who saves me.
and my tongue will sing of Your righteousness.
haf mercy upon me..

Lord, thank You for teaching me,
that the sacrifices of God are a broken spirit.
and broken spirit and a contrite heart,
You will not despise..