jehovah jireh.

dis is my testimony,
that i wanna burst out sharing wif you!
first and foremost,
God is amazing, steady and unchanging!

some of you might know that i'm not working now,
so since there's no input fiscally,
somehow someday, resources will deplete.
today, was a day of ups and downs..

i shall leave the nitty gritties to private conversations,
so if you wanna know,
you can come up to me or msn me k?
so here goes.

i was really broke, like really.
there isn't even enough to withdraw at all..
and i thought i had it all planned out,
i forgot my ezlink and hp bills are by giro.

so got deducted and i forgot to take into account!
both my wallet and bank are dry.
the last time i was dis broke,
was when i was in sec 4, 8 yrs ago..

so, i spent my last dollars buying my siblings lunch.
and came home, contemplating if i should ask from my parents.
you know after not asking allowance from them for so long,
somehow its just really hard to approach them for allowance again?

i hesitated, and asked God.
if it was my pride that He wants me to curb..
so i contemplated on,
and left the matter as it is.

somehow i could feel a tug within me,
"trust Me.."
and since 8 yrs ago,
i didn't hafta worry abt finances at all.

not that i'm some rich kid,
but money always come!
and so, i was thinking abt how am i gonna survive further.
and i prayed, "i will place my faith in You, Father."

so after sch, i was really famished.
i went to the 7-eleven and bought stuff
wif the remains in my bank.
and when i reach the counter, i was astonished.

the cashier told me,
"oh, dis sausage bun is on offer, buy 1 get 1 free."
i was so super happy, i almost teared!
so i paid and went to take another one.

and when i came home,
there lies 20 bucks on my table! mysteriously!
just when my mum popped into my room,
i asked if it was her who gave me 20 bucks.

she said she don't know any 20 bucks i'm talking abt!
and up till now, i cannot figure out who left the money.
i tried to do the math.
my dad doesn't give me money like that, only my aunty would.

but then again, my aunty usually gives 50, not 20!
so i concluded, it was God-sent!
though it might be a small amount,
but it is a huge amount to me..

and at dis point, it really doesn't matter how much anymore.
the point is, HE PROVIDES IN HIS OWN SWEET WAYS!
it really warms my heart,
and if i could, i'd cry too, really.

He's a God so big!
yet, He cares abt our nitty gritty details in our lives.
best of all,
He heard my prayer even though i'm sucha sinner..

sometimes i think we're too caught up in
'looking out' for God.
looking out for the BIG things we'd expect Him to do,
but it is in these small details that we find Him.

are you still sticking your neck out and lamenting,
"He hasn't spoken to me or blessed me.."
or haf you learnt to look at the nitty gritty details
in your daily activities?

and to top it all up,
today, or rather, ytd was my baptism bday.
i just turned 3!
happy bapday to me..

Lord, i'm so blessed to be able to call out to You.
i'm so blessed to even haf known You.
i'm so blessed to be able to call You abba Father.
i'm so blessed that the Father of all things loves me, a nothing.