avatar.

caught avatar wif marisha today.
got me thinking for a lil while..
though nothing substantive,
but overall, i think the graphics are awesome!

it got me thinking,
what is truly real?
is it the life we're in now,
or the life in heaven..

for we all know or at least, believe that
when we pass on, we'll go to somewhere else from earth.
be it hell or heaven,
its definitely not on earth.

so which is more real?
a life or body that we can feel pain and joy in,
or a life that we've yet to see.
which is real?

it sounds like the afterlife is more real,
coz technically speaking,
we'll spend a longer time in that form than in dis.
so that must be more real right?

and being a sound debater,
one should not base truth purely on science or sight..
sometimes logic need not be scientific,
it just needs a lil sense in that situation.

and like jake in 'avatar',
sometimes we tend to be too comfortable in our temporal life.
that we end up wondering,
which is the real deal.

watching avatar got me refocused,
that my life on earth is temporal.
even if its a life of mistakes and regrets,
it'll just be that arduous 80yrs max.

what's more impt is to focus on what's real.
our pains are real, so is God's faithfulness.
our joy are real, so is God's love.
our faith is real, so is the Creator of reality.

seasonal reason.

i truly believe,
that there is a reason for everything.
be it good or bad,
whether you like it or not.

there is always a reason.
now its up to us,
whether do we take charge of our own lives,
or let God take charge of ours.

and should we disobey the course of nature,
not only will we be unready.
we'll hafta bear the consequence of disobedience.
and above all, that would hurt the most..

Lord, i want to be like Job and Abraham.
i want to trust in You,
even when things in my life seem so haywired,
Father, take charge of my life, emotions and thoughts.

drawn.

i've succumbed to the dark side,
the dark matter of network sites.
fazebook!
no thanks to my colleague who created for me..

if you want, can add me.
coz i'll need some time to navigate through hell.
in the meanetime,
i'll just approve requests modestly!

adios, cleanface.

king or president?

as i was washing my hands before i left for the day,
suddenly i was just pondering
the difference between a king and a president.
and which would i prefer to be, if i had a choice?

my preference would be that of a king.
coz i'm one not coz of my credentials,
not coz of what i've done or not done,
but simply coz of my birthright.

a president has to be elected,
den subsequently, constituted.
and there is a requirement criteria to adhere to.
qualifications, credentials, qualities and etc..

and the beauty of being a king or a royalty,
is that they're chosen for who they are, not what they are!
regardless of how nonsensical or young a crown prince can be,
he will still be ascended to the throne once its vacant!

and they are chosen by their birthright,
nothing in dis world can alter that.
likewise our r/s wif God.
we're chosen, not coz of what we are but who we are!

and as the song reminds,
nothing you can do, to make Him love you more
nothing that you've done, can make Him close the door.
purely because of His great love!

so the best way to be a God-fearing/loving christian,
is to be a 'child of God'.
coz a child won't seek to impress,
a child seeks for innocent intimacy!

i'm a royalty!
not of dis world, though..

immense hatred.

i've nvr said dis before,
or rather, i've nvr meant dis so much before.
I HATE YOU, OLD LADY!
I REALLY DO!

if i could curse you to death,
i would.
if nothing else, there's one thing i learnt from you.
you're one stuck-up lady that deserves no respect at all!

its interesting to see how we tend to make things look easy.
how truths are often coupled wif ugly, hurt..
once in a while,
it is used to set you free.

i think as much as we yearn for love ot be simple,
we're often disappointed.
coz its not an equation,
although it has variables.

it cannot be summed up in a thesis,
although we've so much to talk abt it.
it cannot be generalized as a feeling,
coz it simply entails more than that!

is that why love is so hard?
we sometimes even change 'love' to 'heart'.
i heart so and so..
and the prevailing qn remains, "what is love?'

though christians know that God is love,
why then do christians not grasp the full extent of it?
is it sacrificial, encouraging, supportive, painful and many more?
the truth is, it is all of the above.

that is why sometimes it frustrates to the core.
certain frustrations can be coped better
when we know the root problem.
but more often than not, love conundrums are frustrating!

oh well, live and let live.
if there is a problem called love.
i'm sure there is a solution called love as well.
its up to us to practise it..

grace.

pertaining to zing's tag,
"that He chooses to forgive and not forget..
just all the more show the beauty of His love n grace.."
coincidentally reminded me of my convo wif 2 colleagues today.

flora: will you still be friends wif your ex bf?
marisha: ya, in fact, i'm still friends wif all of them!
flora: desmond, den you leh?
des: yep, still friends wif my ex gf, but not her new bf.

marisha: ya, i think its okay. my bf cheated on me before,
and i'm still friends wif him!
flora: :O you all are such loving pple.
des: forgive man, forgive.

flora: i can forgive, but cannot forget one lor!
des: but you say you cannot be friends wif your ex,
how is that forgiving?
des: the one who truly forgives, is marisha..

flora: true true.. marisha, you're crazy lor!
marisha: yeah, its okay. just forget abt it. no point harping..
des: you're too nice alr la!
flora: ya lor! i first time hear pple can still befriend her ex lor.

what zing said was totally true,
though it might not make sense at the first instance.
but God is indeed so magnanimous, beyond our understanding!
why then, are we still begrudging small transgressions?

God's grace is indeed sufficient for us,
just that so many times
we opt to wanna haf the winning say.
that's not the most loving thing to do..

consequences.

mingjie, zing and i had a rather intriguing discussion
at cell last sat.
it was something hard to swallow,
at least for me..

we were talking abt something else,
and we drifted to the grace of God and consequences.
something which we've often misunderstood,
or taken advantage of.

since i don't know what others think,
i thought it'll be prudent to blog only on my views.
i used to think Jesus died on the cross for our sins,
which means we're 'clean' once we repent.

firstly, repentance is usually a once-off affair,
where we repent and try our utmost best to NOT do it again.
whereas, confession happens almost everyday,
where we profess our guilt and sorry to God.

kent chipped in after a while,
quoting an analogy he heard/read from somewhere.
"we're like a piece of white cloth.
each time we sin, blots of stains will be on us.

and each time we ask for forgiveness and repent,
the blots are washed clean.
and as human beings,
inevitably, dis process repeats itself for many many times.

someday, you'll find the cloth getting thinner and thinner,
or turning yellower and yellower.
it might even tear after many washes.
that is the nature of events.."

likewise, the more we sin after repentance,
the more washdown we will get.
and after each wash,
we can nvr be the first-state. NEVER EVER!

that brings us to the consequence part.
mingjie reminded us wif his personal belief and conviction,
that even though God forgives,
consequences will still be playing on.

it is the nature of life,
the very nature that God created.
its like global warming..
we've done a great deal of harm.

and now, the effects of our reckless 'sins'
are merely playing out.
regardless of how guilty we feel,
or how urgently we wanna make a difference.

the bare fact is dis,
that the glaciers will not be 'refrozen' like how it was again.
the temperature will nvr be as cold as before.
the MOST we can do, is to PREVENT the temp from further drop.

zing interjects and contributed,
"is there anywhere in the bible that says explicitly
-God forgives AND FORGETS-?"
we all shook our heads in a brief disbelief.

a phrase or term we use so so often!
so much so that we've the impression that
God forgets our transgressions.
we're sure He forgives, but does He forget?

looking at the nature He made,
the course that nature prevails.
it somehow spells out that
"what is done cannot be undone."

but looking ahead, are we going to keep doing it.
in dis case, keep sinning.
mingjie made another good point,
"there is no such thing as secret sins."

which i think makes alot of sense.
off my head, i can easily quote a few examples!
adultery - the saga around tiger woods.
the seemingly seamless affairs he's had!

they're all revealed.
by way that none of us could anticipate!
a carcrash.
what a way to be exposed, but it happened!

pornography - studies haf shown and was reflected
in the papers last week.
that ALL men watch porn and they watch it alone.
and only a handful watch porn in a group.

is it really a secret sin?
how can pornography and masturbation haf any tangible consequences?
the truth is,
sin manifests in many ways, but nothing can stop its manifestation..

being hooked on porn, will be reflected in our daily lives,
the way we look at females,
the things we fantasized abt
and many other things!

these are the consequences that we've to bear!
we can feel and be however sorry,
but the truth is that we'll still bear the brunt of consequences.
it is sad, but inevitable.

so then, if our repentance changes nothing,
why should we even repent?
dis is the good news of the sad brunt.
each time we repent, He restores Himself to us.

as much as the consequences continue to play out in our lives,
we can be assured that the Lord is back in us.
and His grace and mercy will see us through..
He restores our r/s and communication wif Him.

i've been struggling wif dis many times,
that when i've commited a mediatated sin
the immense guilt serves as an inherent barrier to speaking wif God.
only when i repent, i feel so free to speak to Him again!

so brothers and sisters,
let us not take the cross of Christ for granted.
thinking that we've unlimited 'tokens' to sin and repent.
let us keep our walk focused and disciplined!

leadership.

perhaps, it is for my own good.
perhaps, it is for the ministry's good.
regardless of which perhaps it belongs to,
i will trust the leadership God placed me under.