waiting.

i'm finally back on track,
and i can gladly say,
God's grace is upon me once again!
though not confident, but it seems like it.

as i was reluctant as first to read the bible,
i whipped it out nonetheless,
and continued from i left off in the book of Acts.
i read out of persistence, not conviction.

and so as i was reading it,
i can literally feel my 'spiritual tank' filling up.
the more i read the 'adventures of paul, silas and timothy',
i began to feel the joy that i've missed for a long time!

so much so that i didn't even feel like getting off at city hall!
i just wanna keep reading man.
and it dawned upon me the reality of Christ once again.
my faith in Him becomes real and alive again!

some of you might haf realised,
that my recent entries had nothing much to do wif the Scriptures,
just personal thoughts, preferences and maybe dislikes.
coz i was vacillating in my walk and didn't wanna stumble pple..

but now, HOO's back in the game!
hahhaha!
and i started to think,
during paul's time was the start of AD in the calendar.

so what happened in Acts didn't happen v long ago!
and whatever God did for them,
can be done for us as well!
how He delievered them, and how precisely He spoke to them.

i became excited at dis point,
and it tweeks me to pull up my antenna
to receive God's FM!
once again, God yanked me out of the dark valley.

looking at how paul, silas and timothy moved around,
wif the prompting of the Lord.
starkly inspires me to wanna hear from God.
not to fulfill my personal desires but to see what He has for me!

char and i were talking on msn ytd before lunch,
and we strayed into the topic of 'waiting'.
how we're at our transition period of our lives,
and how we ought to wait..

although we had differing views,
i wouldn't say we've had conflicting ones.
its just different perspectives
and definitions of waiting.

most of us today,
haf the impression that waiting means doing nothing.
waiting means sitting patiently,
even in hope for something greater to come.

as much as the biblical jargons are used,
like waiting, patiently, hope, something greater.
note that i used the word 'sitting'..
it basically connotes 'doing nothing', just idling in hope.

as much as that's what human beings do.
like we usually wait for somebody,
we stand there and just wait,
hopefully the person turns up quickly.

but its a different kinda wait here.
the bible uses dis phrase time and again,
wait upon the Lord.
strength will rise as we wait upon the Lord.

the bible doesn't say wait for the Lord.
paul didn't wait for something to happen..
he was conscientiously doing the works of God,
WHILE something happens.

'waiting for' connotes idle.
whereas 'waiting upon' connotes working it out.
a servant doesn't wait for his master,
he waits upon him.

so as we so loosely say,
"oh, i'm waiting for the Lord to direct"
is that an excuse for not achieving and moving?
or is God only speaking sporadically?

during church camp,
the theme that i drew out from the pastors
was that God speaks constantly and consistently.
it is us who're listening sporadically..

so when we're waiting for Him,
are we not saying that we're not listening to him?
are we just living out our daily lives,
hopefully some bush catches fire and God appears to us?

we, as emotional and logical human beings,
tend to look for dramatic signs.
only when something extraordinary happened,
that is when its from God.

but we've overlooked so many times
the consistent low-key Hand of God..
our heartbeat, our breath, the revolving of the earth,
the maintenance and sustainance of the solar system.

God doesn't just appear in rainbows,
He doesn't just appear in eclipse.
neither does He speak only through a burning bush,
nor a blinding white light!

God speaks to us and reminds us every single sec,
that as long as my heart is pumping,
somebody bigger than me is maintaining it.
somebody bigger than me allows it!

Lord, help us to wait upon You.
that as we serve You and continue to seek Your face,
may Your grace be abundant in us.
may our divine eyes and ears be opened to You!