february11.

And the God of all grace, who called you to His eternal glory in Christ, after you have suffered a little while, will Himself restore you and make you strong, firm and steadfast.

1 Peter 5:10

"a little while?!"
the thought that gatecrashed through my head,
when i first read it.
a little while..

that thought alone proves nothing else but one,
my wallow in self-pity.
thinking that my world caved in on me,
for the longest time alr..

try telling weiming or any NSF,
army 2 years only!
very fast one la..
see what they tell you.

and ask me or anybody who has ORD-ed,
"is 2yrs in army too long?"
and see what they say.
ask those who were in army!

now, the point here is dis.
when we're IN IT,
it's one long arduous day followed by another.
10pm doesn't seem to come at all!

when we're too caught up wif our 'sufferings',
many times we forget to step out
and look at it from a bird's eye..
its only for a while.

though its not convincing to tell yourself that,
when you're in it suffering.
but that is the reminder Peter wants to give us.
stay strong.

the longest our 'suffering' can take,
is merely a fraction of eternity.
but then again,
without dis fraction, we're as good as nothing.

as we struggle or suffer through dis period,
let us nvr forget to stay focused to God.
nvr leave from His presence!
coz once we do, we fall off..

God will not put us in a situation,
where He knows we can't handle.
and when times you really really feel like snapping,
that's when God is refining you.

those are the most precious moments,
when you look in retrospect.
let me share wif you all something,
a day in sispec (army).

i was the course sergeant major at that time,
and it was a mock live-firing.
where we crawl through mud and stick in formations,
to get to our objective.

bearing the rank on my arm,
was clearly visible.
and not surprisingly,
the warrant officers would pay more attention to me.

safety of my platoon was in my hands,
and they had to instill some real discipline in me,
in order for me to carry out my duties
during the actual 'live' firing wif real bullets.

so as i was crawling, shouting,
there's dis pair of boots right beside me.
walking beside me as i crawl..
i ignored coz my 'drill' was more impt.

then suddenly some guy went out of line,
and i didn't see.
and hence, i failed to shout at him
something happened.

my instructor kicked me in my helmet.
real hard..
it was humiliating to me!
i really wanted to shoot him at that time.

but i kept quiet,
and shouted at that guy
to get him back in line.
i was boiling inside..

den somebody accidentally misfired,
and i got kicked on my helmet again!
dis time i was infuriated.
but i kept quiet until the end of the exercise.

at the end of it all,
i went to a corner in the forest.
and teared silently,
thinking "why is it my fault when all these happened!"

a background of it was that,
i broke up wif cheryl the night before.
but i held everything in,
and did what i had to do, command.

but when he kicked and kicked,
i was so upset.
and kept thinking,
"why does it all happened at once!"

how long more will my 'suffering' be?
to me, that wk was the longest!
rest time don't seem to come when i needed it to.
the day seemed to haf 72hrs.

but now that i look back,
those 'trying' periods were damn precious!
i literally bit the bullet and charge through,
staying focused and finish what i had to.

the Lord restored me each night,
He made me strong, firm and steadfast.
He walked through wif me,
and i know He'll walk through wif me dis time too!

so i wanna encourage you,
that your world may look like they're caving in on you.
your problems seem too much for you to bear,
but be assured dis day.

the Lord held me together,
He will hold you too!
all you hafta do is to fix your eyes on Him.
NEVER LOSE SIGHT OF HIM!