hope?

recently i've been struggling.
struggling to be a friend who keeps his plans.
struggling to be of a good cheer.
struggling to be a wise mentor.
struggling to be a brother-in-Christ.

now that the week has past.
i look back,
i thank God.
for placing these struggles in my life.

for it is these struggles that will
make me a better person
to love and to give.
to counsel and to support.

afterall, i'm only human.
i do haf emotions.
emotions that seemed so strong.
but i do reminisce and regret.
i do miss and feel like shit.

feel so alone.
carrying all these alone.
not having anybody in person to talk to.
who understands and will not judge.
partly also i don't wanna burden other pple?

now pple that i finally reconciled wif,
pple that i'm really comfortable wif.
are going away.
some to another state (literally),
some to another environment (4 yrs of busyness),
some still remain where they are,
but no longer that close anymore.

hmm, problematic huh?
well, i really wanna be of a good cheer.
i really wanna be there for as many pple as possible.
i really wanna be a wise mentor,
who doesn't control in fear but trust the Lord in faith.

nvm, dis is a random entry.
not sure what i'm saying too.
maybe i'm really dis confused?
not wanting to stumble,
but really needed to let it out somewhere?

pls pardon me if i did stumble u.
and if u're worried abt me,
pls don't be.
coz i'll be fine after a while.

and how?
i've got a clown friend like ZING!
(who doesn't mind being the clown)
i've got an accountability partner like DON!
(who doesn't haf self-esteem problems)
and many more..

thank God for all these,
contradicting yet necessary
difficult yet possible
kinda situations in life.

coz only thru these,
i'll learn..