perplexed.

it has been pretty frequent now. pple haf been asking me. "i believe EVERYBODY goes to heaven." i believe dis, i believe that. its quite a sucky feelin. u know what's right and what's wrong, but u cannot express it. u cannot stand up for ur own faith. been consulting pple abt dis topic mainly, "is it really true that EVERYBODY goes to heaven?" including monks, mediums, and etc? i know that only those who believed in Christ goes to heaven, but why don't they buy dis fact? why do they wanna defend the other religions or everybody as a whole. are Christians really like salvation army? and heaven's like a home where in the end, everybody returns. Christians are loving, kind at heart and so on [as in if we really apply all that's in the bible], but doesn't mean we don't haf our stands right? showing love doesn't mean we can be pushed around right? why whenever i try to put it across to them my concept, the nicest way possible. but pple still say "Christians so selfish wan, heaven only christians go, the rest go hell." dis sucks man! even Christians ask me the same qns! why why? why can't i be firm? feeling really defeated man.

dating test!

Your dating personality profile:
You matched the following traits:
Romantic - You know exactly how to melt your date's heart. Romance comes naturally to you and is an important component of any relationship you have.
Religious - Faith matters to you. It is the foundation that you build your life upon. You trust that God has a plan for you.
Sensual - You are not particularly shy when it comes to your sexuality. You know what you like and do not feel inhibited.
Your Top Ten Traits, Ranked
1. Romantic
2. Religious
3. Sensual
4. Stylish
5. Athletic
6. Wealthy/Ambitious
7. Traditional
8. Funny
9. Adventurous
10. Big-Hearted
Your date match profile:
You match with women who have following traits:
Practical - You are drawn to people who are sensible and smart. Flashy, materialistic people turn you off. You appreciate the simpler side of living.
Religious - You seek someone who is grounded in faith and who possesses religious values. You believe that a religious person can enhance your life.
Romantic - You need someone with a traditional understanding of romance. A true romantic is a must-have in any potential date.
Your Top Ten Match Traits, Ranked
1. Practical
2. Religious
3. Romantic
4. Sensual
5. Traditional
6. Conservative
7. Athletic
8. Funny
9. Stylish
10. Adventurous

*actually all these doesn't matter, coz i already had her!*

packed.

dis week's fulla work. fulla skits preparations. fulla fun camp preparations. fulla intimacy [wif God. nah. no dirty thoughts andrew! ha!]. anyway, yah. now i'm kinda looking forward to the BBQ dis friday and funnily kinda excited to meet up wif mingjie tml morning before fun camp meeting. haha. not sure why. maybe i'm kinda in a rat race dis few weeks, working hard for cash and trying to squeeze everything in a day's schedule. the dates in my organiser are always bold-ed man! simply means my whole week is packed! no wonder cheryl's not so happy. coz its her holidays and i'm so involved in so many so many things. hopefully by 5th june, i'll be pretty much settled. done wif the camp and the skit. only left work, attachment and driving. not so bad. yep.
i'm reading dis book "Man in the Mirror". when i received the book from Pastor Aaron, i was qute turned off. honestly! haha. the first line in bold and italics summary at the back cover already states "Trade the Rat Race for the Rewards of Godly Manhood". can roughly guess where dis author's driving at. Christian guys cannot dis dis dis, must that that that, blah blah blah.. typical books i've read in life bookshop. but yah, had no choice but to take the first step which is to flip open the book and start reading it! if not, i won't be able to catch up wif the discussions that are somewhat weekly wif aaron, mingjie and sebas.

yah, so as i was reading, the introduction was rather draggy and i don't really get what the author's talking about, like beating about the bush and all that. quite frustrating lah! but nonetheless, ploughed through. and it quites more interesting and thoughts are really settling down in my head. patrick [author] talks about the rat race that we men are facing from 1876 right up to now! how the world advances and how we've pulled away from God. and the most interesting analogy that he brought up was that now in the twentieth century, we're rebuilding a towel of babbel. which is the antenna. antenna which encompasses technology like t.v, computers and so on. how the commercials and media influenced our lifestyle and its so damn true! what kinda person it makes u if u own let's say a Merc? or a damn big house? at the end of the day, u'll be buying urself more stress and struggles to cope wif the maintenance and so on. the materials kept piling up, does it make u a happier person? maybe for that few months, but does it last? think thru it man! its common, most of u heard dis before. but shouldn't it be a time for u to really think thru what's the main purpose of chasing those materials?

and dis leads me to chapter 2 as expected, talking about leading an unexamined life. how many of us actually examine ourselves every night, or every month, or every year, or do we even examine ourselves? how will we ever know we're progressing? at work, u know u've progressed if u're promoted or given a raise. likewise in our spiritual lives, how would we know if we've improved? isn't it by asking God? or at least having the discipline to do qt? to haf a time for u to get away from the environment for a while and reflect, to let God tell u how well u've fared or at least gif Him some time to talk to u? just that 10-15 mins, even lesser than a driving practical or a lecture in school.

these are the thoughts that went thru my head when i read the book. so excited to share dis wif the group of men on saturdays, but i'm afraid i'll forget. that's why i blogged it! haha. but if u think it applies to u, really. gif it a thought. lesmong, out.

*God had brought US dis far, and He'll bring US further!*

honestly, do u guys think i look better in a cap? haha, i kinda look like a chee ko pek here. but heck! haha, the night was REALLY perfect. no regrets!

out.

Have you come to the Red Sea in your life,
where in spite of all you can do.
There is no way out, there is no way back,
there is no other way, but through?
Then wait on the Lord with a trust serene,
Till the night of your fear is gone.
He will send the winds, He will heap the floods,
when He says to your soul "Go on."

And His hand will lead you through, clear through.
Ere the watery walls roll down,
no wave can touch you, no foe can smite,
no mightiest sea can drown.
The tossing billows may rear their crests,
their foam at your feet may break,
but over their bed you shall walk dry shod,
in the path that your ord shall make.

In the morning watch, 'neath the lifted clouds,
you shall see but they Lord alone,
when He leads you forth from the place of the sea,
to a land that you have not known.
And your fears shall pass as your foe shall pass,
you shall be no more afraid.
You shall sing His praise in a better place,
in a place that His hand hath made.
Amen.

*i'm still fortunate to be able to see u*

back.

finally i've switched on my com man. its been 4 days? busy lah. anyway, to those nokie users, please make use of the "Organizer" if u don't haf a planner. its darn useful! seriously, it helped me to get organised and plan ahead to agree or not agree wif appointments. used to agree to everything and when the dates draw closer, i realise tht i'll hafta cancel or postpone some. quite bastardized lah. well, disadvantage of NOT having an organizer. hahahaha. okay, enough of bullSHIT.

my life had been pretty dramatic for the whole of the 4 days that i was gone. dramatic in a sense that, since now i'm in the skit together wif the Youth For Christ[YFC] for the BB fun camp in June. had to act wif extreme exaggeration. [to: andrew & derek] yah, i had to ACT. it was really amazing lah, to know what are their expectations in the skit. well, after 2 rehearsals. we shoud be on the right track by now, just hafta add in props and costume and a bit more of emotions. yep. dis is one reason why my life had been so dramatic these days.

the other aspect of drama in my life is actually more on personal emotions and feelings towards somebody. had ALL ALONG been unhappy wif dis guy and i had to learn to forgive and forget for the sake of the commandments in the bible as well as a healthy r/s wif cheryl. it's hard lah, really. time and time again, after trying so hard to forget abt the whole matter and accept him, something he'll do to just trigger the whole shit that i'm feeling towards him back lah! its just a matter of time man. sometimes i think is it really i'm over-sensitive, or that i'm the only one who thinks that i can see through his next step and what exactly is he trying to do. its disturbing lah, i used to haf insecurities in my r/s wif cheryl. and each time he comes, all those insecurities kept rushing back. and each time its worst. well, nonetheless i had to handle dis myself. its gonna take a long time, to unplug the HATRED i haf for that person. dammit! its so tough man. anyways, yep.

haha, as u've read cheryl's blog. i made breakfast for her!! hahah. damn cool man! and i enjoyed doing it, don't know why? hahahha. and the rose that u've seen in her blog. seriousy it literally went thru hell and came back to life again. haha. andrew witnessed it. but nonetheless, gave it to her and yep. thru that rose, all hurts and sins are washed away. wahahahahhahahah! seriously, sounds like Jesus eh? the rose and Jesus, both made the same differences in our lives. Jesus did the difference in our individual lives, and the rose did it in our r/s. okay, back to her. i realised that friends are very impt in a r/s. u know sometimes, when u haf some problems wif ur bf, u'll hafta let it out? and that person whom she lets it out is very impt, coz basically, if whatever she says to the person doesn't come back to the bf whom she had difficulties telling, it'll be bad for the bf as well as her right? so, i'm damn fortunate that i haf a friend whom she knows as well, to filter whatever she tells him and then he'll translate into a guy's perception to tell me what is she exactly feeling. was damn happy to see that both of them becoming REAL friends and not bickery friends [though they still do, but in the name of fun]. happy man. last time i didn't haf that oppotunity that much, coz she'll share whatever she feels to a friend who don't even know how i look like, or worst to somebody that i had bad impressions towards. haha, those were the days lah. but now, she'll still share wif her own friends who don't even know me, but she shared things that are not meant for me to know. and those that really affects her but she really haf no idea on how to tell me without having the both of us to flare up, she'll tell OUR friend, who knows exactly how to put it across to me. even if i still flare up, it wouldn't be as bad as how i'll flared up in her face. yep! so lovebirds out there, try to get a friend who knows the both of u pretty well and who's trustable to help u translate, it helps [alot in fact].

okay, my attachment and major project. some of u know that i'll be doing my major project during my attachment. okay, i know what project i'm working on already. basically, we'll[team of 3] hafta make a 6-legged robot from scratch to run along dis track, up and down obstacles. and for it to be a good robot, it must be quick in the finishing the track. it must also be stable in their movements. yeah, looking forward to dis project alot. hopefully we can get an A for dis project and at the end of the whole project, we'll get into EPS[engineering project show]. yep! that'll greatly enhance my disgustng cert of 'F's. haha.

okay, hope u've enjoyed reading dis entry. lesmong, out.

*fortunate to haf u as a friend. and fortunate to haf u as the most beautiful girl in my life.*