deliberation.

2 things that dawned upon me,
ytd and today.
again, they were common things,
but often overlooked..

as i was bathing ytd after painting,
there was an acute pain in the side of my index finger.
i thought what in the world was that,
and when i saw it, it was a torn flesh.

but i thought, since no blood
its okay la.
so i shampoo-ed my hair and
AAAAWWWWWWWWW~

the pain was so sharp that i cringed!
but guess what,
i still went on to finish washing my hair.
what an ass! (legitimate name for stubborn donkey)

so after that, i thought..
maybe now the wound is clean.
next is my facial cream.
dis time, i stuck my finger out and used the other 3.

boy, it really felt weird man!
my left side of my face is massaged by a full hand,
and my right side is so..
inadequately massaged!

suddenly it just struck my mind!
so soundly..
i'll like to call it my
finger theorem.

so many times,
we don't realise the essence of something
until we lose it.
ain't it true?

that was a subpoint.
the main point is this..
we haf 10 fingers,
2 of each kind.

i tried to wonder how would my fingers think.
(yeah, i've an ability or rather, a disability for monologue!)
the index finger for directing,
middle finger for scolding and so on..

middle finger: you're shorter than me,
why does desmond always use you to point and not me!
index finger: haf what..
just not in a good way!

even then..
don't even talk abt 2 different kinds of fingers.
let's talk abt both your index fingers..
are you a leftie or a rightie?

for me, i'm a rightie.
naturally, i'll use my right finger to direct.
would my left finger feel slighted?
let's see..

leftie index: i'm same as you what!
why desmond use you more than me..
rightie index: haf what..
maybe coz i'm more user-friendly?

many a times,
we compare ourselves wif others.
digging whatever character traits we haf,
we want to be deemed better, or at least fit.

but sometimes,
or in fact most of the times!
we allow pride to get the better of us,
thinking we can do better.

is it really so?
before we even think we can do better,
why don't we examine ourselves first.
are we wired in that same way?

yes, we may all be human beings
we may all be christians..
but we haf different shoe sizes.
its abt time we don't try to fit into other pple's shoes.

i may not be a guitarist,
or a pianist, or even a good enough vocalist.
why in the blue world am i leading a band?
am i better than all of them?

obviously not.
just nicely inverted..
i need them as much as they need a leader.
and God graciously gave me 'commanding genes'.

we are all here for a reason.
for His reason..
we're not here to be super substitute.
thinking we're one-size-fits-all.

we haf our roles, they haf theirs.
let's not allow pride to seep into our lives
thinking we're better than whoever appointed.
coz they're there and you're not, for a reason..

let's also not allow self-pity to seep in.
thinking we're lousier than others..
desmond can lead a band,
i can only play the guitar.

no, we're all here as a body.
just like my face needs the presence of my index finger.
my leftie needs my rightie to make the body part
called 'hands' complete..

like me,
i don't haf special preference for my index finger
over my middle finger.
even though both are authorative, just different kinds.

i love and need them both!
and i need them to be cooperative,
esp when they live just next to each other!
and i think they've been quite obedient..

wow, i can see that dis post is gonna be quite long.
if you're bored, you can go snoop around elsewhere
and maybe pop by later again?
okay, moving on to the next and final point!

dis morning as i walked to office,
through the adelphi.
i've been walking through there for abt 10 mths now,
and i JUST realised something today..

there're tonnes of shops selling audio devices there.
and one of the posters which i'm sure was there ever since!
and it reads dis,
"be surrounded by sound, not speakers"

suddenly, theological sense just came to me.
it is really not abt the indicators
or the 'speakers' in your life
to know that you're hearing something.

speakers in dis sense,
i meant markings or indicators
of God speaking to us.
of God 'hinting to us..

like for example,
i used to think.
"Lord, if _____ is the one for me,
please allow her to send me an sms!"

or dis,
"Lord, if dis course is for me,
please allow me for an interview
so that at least i know its from You!"

sometimes we're so focused onto
wanting to hear God's voice,
we tend to fix more 'speakers'
in our lives..

thinking that the more speakers we haf,
the better or clearer sound quality there is.
we've gotta learn how to listen,
instead of how to fix speakers!

i've heard and read so many times,
that if i'm not heeding it or convinced by the truth,
i'm just being deaf,
even though i've 10 speakers!

the Lord speaks to us in His own ways,
ways we cannot anticipate.
but more often than not,
He speaks to us through His own Word (bible)!

not christian books,
when you're deciding a r/s wif someone.
not christian friends.
when you cannot make up your mind.

don't box God up in the context of a human-inspired writer!
don't rely on godly friends for answers from God.
if you really wanna hear from Him,
den talk to Him, not things or people!

but of coz on the flipside,
i'm not saying that reading or consulting is bad.
what i'm saying is,
be surrounded by sound, not speakers..

if you don't understand,
you can ask me personally abt dis.
coz i think its impt,
esp being in dis growing affluent society.

many times we tend to play god,
we tend to think what God would think.
we tend to flood ourselves wif logics and emotions,
instead of His Word for us..

aight, enough of typing.
my fingers and thighs are aching bad!
gotta spray some WD-40 on my fingers man..
and i've the gait of a penguin now!