overwhelmed.

i'd been so caught up.
so caught up in so many things that
sapped so much of my brain and time.
i'm almost lost..

my dad had ran into a little bit of trouble,
and me having been slightly 'legally exposed',
my dad asked me if there can be anything done
in the eyes of law or public policies..

and so i requested for the relevant documents
and i read and read and read.
at the same time,
looking for prejudices that can be held in our favour.

and work for me had been crazy.
really crazy..
everday, i only go to the toilet once.
and that's during lunch time!

i'm stretched to my limits everyday.
working hard is nothing much,
but when you see each and every inch of your hardwork
being credited to someone else' name.

somehow, i just felt..
insignificant.
the work that i do, time that i spent
files that i'm drowned in.

somehow i really felt that
all these work are meaningless.
yet i really can't just 'don't bother',
i still put in my best.

in fear that if i make any mistakes,
it'll make my colleagues look bad.
so i ought to upkeep perfection,
afterall, they trusted me.

and the whole past 3 days,
i'd been psyching myself.
only God sees,
only God knows.

today, when i was up again at work.
i told myself, i need some time for myself!
and i pushed the volumnous files aside,
and i wanna blog!

so here i am,
blogging!
and as i flipped my daily devotion,
and there lies the word of my best Friend.

"Do you see a man skilled in his work?
He will stand before kings;
He will not stand before obsure men."
- Proverbs 22:29

you know what that meant to me,
it means God really still sees.
God acknowledges hardwork..
work that are often toiled in the background!

so my friends,
if you feel that you're misunderstood,
if you feel that you're slighted in your deeds,
God sees, God honours!

what good shall men's compliments be?
is it not but temporary.
even if you spent hours at it,
a compliment only last for a min, and forgotten the next!

but be encouraged,
coz God's honour is of eternal value.
He knows, my friends, He knows!
and He will bless you in His own sweet time.

somehow, i felt that dis is what its gonna be like
if i were to be enrolled into law school.
tonnes of readings and writing,
where will there be time for Him?

do i really want it?
does God really want me to do it?
i told Him no matter what,
i will and shall not compromise on the time wif Him!

even dis wk,
i OT-ed everyday.
and when i get home,
all i wanna do and did was to read His word.

that was and will be my quantum of solace,
something which cannot be found anywhere else,
except in my still heart,
on my super hard bed..

even if it requires me to slp later,
i will seek and rejoice in His promises.
even if it requires me to wake up earlier,
i will intercede and go before Him everyday!

that is my vow to You, my Lord.
wherever You plant me this year,
i will not compromise on my time wif You.
i will not let sleep or rest or fun take Your place..

if anything had to go,
let that be blogging, msning, reading 'fortune'.
if anything had to be exchanged,
let that be my sleep, not You!

for i live for You.
and i live to seek Your face.
for i seek to love You,
and i love to seek Your face!

Lord Jesus, be blessed today!
be blessed everyday,
for i wanna give You my all,
for that is what You've given me at first!