why?

she called she called!! but why did i talk to her in tt tone?!?! stupid lesmong. damn stupid sial! argh! let's hope its not gonna start all over again. darn! is it the timing? if i've not read the blog, will all these happen? argh! i feel like we're like romeo & juliet. star-crossed lovers. where all the timings of their plot are mixed-up. shit shit shit. how to tell her? should i let her read dis blog? argh. shit shit. let's hope dis works out.

damned.

am i really born lousy? i feel lousy. at first in the morning, i felt tt i should gif her a call and ask if she manages to wake up in time. hoping tt my call will be some sort of a "signal" to her, tt "hey, i'm fine now! let's move on." but the call was bad. she just said "bye! [call ended 0.34 mins]" and at tt time, i felt shit again. argh. whatever. so i stayed in my bed, thinking of stuff. and i remembered the Christmas present she gave me. so i changed the tag. and i happened to chance upon dis tag tt says, "even though we fight alot, but i still love u. *hugs*". when i saw tt, i was very much re-assured, and i felt kinda guilty of making her feel so bad last night. so i smsed her the exact words from the tag, hoping tt she knows i feel the same way as the tag described. seriously, i didn't expect her to reply, coz i know she won't. but she replied!! she asked if i'm having lunch at home. so i thought things are alright already. and i replied "unless i've got a date lor. u wanna date me? haha." but u know what? the sms conversation ends there. den i was like thinking, "did i sound too happy?" but i didn't haf the answer. so i switched on my com and read her blog. oh my goodness, my happiness level fell to a negative million. its all a whole new issue tt she's angry wif. its something tt has nvr occured to me the whole night and morning. me being self-centered. but tt's what she felt!! after reading it, i think she knows me better than i do. and there's nothing much for me to refutate abt. tt's all. i feel lousily damned, and damn lousy.