not ready.

aight, let me post something here
before i get down to busi-ness..
had been really busy in the recent days,
but its all gonna be over after dis wk!

ytd, i had it all planned.
after dinner, get home and get started.
set out what i intended to finish,
and do QT and sleep..

i thought i was making good time,
when i reached home at 8.
as i walked into the house,
just when i kept my shoes in the closet.

my mum said in fatigue,
"ah joe's results v bad.."
and true enough,
as i walked past him, i could sense uneasiness.

i was really set in my mind not to be distracted,
but i couldn't help but 'investigate'..
i called his name,
and he literally ran out to the living room.

and he knew exactly what i was gonna ask,
his lips turned dark..
my siblings haf dis trademark,
that when we're really scared, we just stone!

and that's what he became,
a stone.
and so i asked him,
"what were your results?"

he rubbed his eyes,
and rolled his wet eyeballs in those tiny sockets
and uttered wif tremble,
"i forgot.."

des: you forgot your results?!
why didn't you write it down?
were you too confident,
or too scared to let us know your results?

*joel stones*

just then, my sister almost like a hero in my view,
and a villain in my brother's view,
walked into the hall wif a stack of exam papers!
you can almost see that stone becoming a rock man..

and she muttered,
"his exam papers.."
den my mum screamed across,
"i thought you said cannot bring home?!"

den almost instantaneously i said,
"go and take the cane here.."
stone: don't want..
he said wif a quiver and heavy throat.

i passed to him the papers
and asked him to wait for me at the dining table.
while i went to get the cane..
and i couldn't find one!!

so i went opposite to see if my aunt still canes my cousins,
obviously not either!
just then,
my hero, my bro's betrayer, my mum, walked in wif the cane.

and my mum said these in hokkien while she handed over,
"be careful, his lips will turn blue. but do what you need.."
and so wif that 'staff',
i wanted to part my bro's red sea in a fit of anger.

but of coz, i didn't.
i kept my cool and let my bro calm down first.
can you imagine the trauma a 9yr old would face,
after being betrayed by the 2 most impt women in his life?

and the imminent judgement
that is set to befall upon his tiny self..
i knew exactly how that feels like,
and so i decided to talk to him nicely abt his results first.

english just pass,
maths fail,
science did well,
chinese today getting back.

i don't rmb failing until when i was pri 4!
my first failure, i'll nvr forget.
46/100 for maths paper..
i rmbed i cried as my maths teacher, ms angeline lee handed me.

and i rmbed that i tried to conjure some delay tactics,
in order to postpone the judgement as long as possible.
but my mum was much vigilant then,
she'd check my bag and 'eureka'!

i rmbed that day,
i cried as though my 'water bag' burst!
my mum caned me,
dad hit me, sister laughed at me!

worse day of my primary sch life.
but that was also the day that my mum
applied 'zambuk' on my sorry ass
when i was feigning sleep..

that was the day i knew my mum loved me,
more than my results.
that was also when i realised,
that i should buck up in maths!

so i decided to do what my mum did.
i was objective,
and i didn't let my emotions nor angre affect me.

i told my brother as i put the cane on the table,
"i'm not caning you coz of your results,
i'm caning you tonight,
coz of your lies.."

and after going through his results wif him,
he was alr crying then by the way.
as prophesied in the bible,
that when moses hits the rock, water shall flow out from it.

HAHHAHAHA! OKAY, I'M JUST KIDDING!

but anyways,
after all that 'grilling' and directives set for the coming months.
oh btw, i banned him from computer usage until his SA2 ends.
and only can watch tv and play psp on sunday after 7pm to 10pm.

i feel like i'm the most powerful brother on earth man.
after my sister's parent-teacher meeting,
i gave her a curfew at 8pm until her 'A's,
and i grounded her during the weekends..

why didn't my parents do that to me!
now, i'm suffering the brunt of freedom.
and regretting now serves no purpose,
other than demoralising me.

and so the most awaited caning was here.
i asked my brother,
"how many times did i ask you abt your english paper?"
he rubbed his eyes and sniffed abit and said, "3.."

des: put your hand out.
*joel struts out his right hand*
des: you're right handed right?
how are you gonna write if its swollen? i want the left..

*and i laid him the smackdown thrice*

and the story goes for all 3 other subjects.
total, i gave him 12 strokes..
and 2 more in addition
for bad conduct at the student care centre.

after all these,
i told him very sternly,
to me, lies are the worse things he can give me.
and i want no more of it from last night on..

so after that,
we just left the table and i went to bathe.
i saw the clock, it was 9.18pm.
i was psyching myself the need for midnight oil..

as i was in the shower,
i thought to myself through dis past month.
in a short span of 30days,
i disciplined both my siblings very sternly..

it feels almost like i'm single parent.
i was so tired inside..
upbringing a child is really not easy.
and i had to upbring 2 of totally different level!

i thought to myself,
why do i hafta go through all these?
why pauline doesn't have to!
why jessie and jeremiah don't have to!

i figured that there're no answers to those rhetorics.
i left it as that, and i took it as a customised lesson for me..
no point brooding over it,
just overcome it and see God's fullness of grace for me!

but ytd, i really thanked God that He sustained me.
and i even had enough energy to do QT after that..
such a privilege to serve and be blessed!
i'd trade anything for some quality time wif my best Friend.

just on a side note,
as i pulled out my readers' digest dis morning on the train,
i read the full articles of 'How to be an A+ parent'
and 'Words to inspire'..

i think i'm gonna be a father unexpectedly soon!
let's just hope dis is NOT gonna be true.
for the first time,
i'm actually not wanting marriage as yet!