april17.

Jesus replied, "I tell you the truth, if you have faith and do not doubt, not only can you do what was done to the fig tree, but also you can say to this mountain, 'Go, throw yourself into the sea,' and it will be done. If you believe, you will reveive whatever you ask for in prayer."

Matthew 21:21-22 NIV

"If you embrace this kingdom life and don't doubt God, you'll not only do minor feats like I did to the fig tree, but also triumph over huge obstacles. This mountain, for instance, you'll tell, 'Go jump in the lake,' and it will jump. Absolutely everything, ranging from small to large, as you make it a part of your believing prayer, gets included as you lay hold of God."

Matthew 21:21-22 MSG

a friend asked me ytd,
"why do you still hold on to something,
that causes you so much hurt?"
dis familiar question, i've considered before..

i guess in life,
there're just some things that makes perfect sense to you,
but not to your friends.
coz of the word, 'reality'.

in the abovementioned,
i noted that it is the same situation as well.
who in the right mind in dis day and age,
would ask the mountain to move, and wait in expectancy?

these pple would normally be classified,
'siaokia', 'sor-zai', 'gila', 'stubborn mule'.
now what is the problem here,
science, fact, reality supercedes belief, hope.

maybe because of our affluence these days,
moving mountains ain't exactly the most convincing example.
what abt something more 'realistic'.
i'm sure we've heard of many success stories..

how miracles happened from the biblical age to present day.
how the 'mountain' was moved,
in dis case of a blind man receiving sight,
is it not apt to consider the blindness as his 'mountain'?

how broken families are restored.
lack of harmony and understanding
was their mountain.
and again, with hope and belief, they overcame.

so are there really anything impossible?
the cliche answer of all time would be,
'if you believe, nothing is too big for God.'
but do ourselves really believe it in the first place?

and so back to my friend's qn,
that kept me up all night.
i was debating within myself,
weighing the reality and somewhat hopeless belief.

i was so objective dis time that i even pondered,
'am i trying to prove anything to myself?'
dis is one time where i laid down
emotions, logics, objectives, subjectives.

after thinking for a long long time,
if i was wearing sticky suit
and lying on a bed of cash,
i'd be a millionaire by then..

i found out and concluded my 'reason'
for my stubborness.
it boils down to love.
and what love is to me..

i've long ago given up on the fact that,
love needs to be reciprocated.
i've also been thru and learnt that
love is not self-seeking.

one of the hardest lesson,
at the same time,
one of the most important lesson
of unconditional love.

and i've also concluded that,
the moment you put yourself in the picture,
that love cannot be unconditional.
because that thought itself is already self-seeking.

and i thought i could stick wif my immediate response
to the question posed to me.
for the record, i replied
'i didn't hold on for benefits of love, eg. happiness'

Jesus was chosen to die for us.
and i'm sure Jesus wasn't exactly happy in human sense!
in fact, He did pray for the cup to be taken from Him,
but out of love and obedience, submitted to His calling..

and God, being a gracious God
allowed 'happiness' and 'goodness' from the 'ordeal',
which is eternal salvation
for whoever buys the cross.

likewise, i know and i will continue to believe
that God put me in dis 'ordeal',
He'll see me through it.
and the 'happiness' and 'goodness' will follow eventually.

to God be the glory.