experience.

"experience is what you get, when you didn't get what you want."

good experience, bad experience
they're all worth having.
good experience,
i don't hafta reason myself..

but for us to embrace bad experiences
takes huge amounts of humility.
unless we are truly surrendered to God,
we'll just keep wallowing in self-pity.

all things in our life,
both good and bad.
works out in accordance to God's plan!
like it or not.

but that's the beauty of a r/s isn't it?
you can't always haf what you want.
at the same time, always having what you want
just doesn't seem to add up right..

we may think we know what's good for us,
but God don't just think, He envisage.
and He KNOWS exactly what will happen,
if He allows certain things at a premature timing!

like my brother told me ytd,
"korkor, can i use computer? i NEED to use."
den i asked him, "you got projects alr ar?"
and he looked at me blankly.

den i said, "so do you really NEED to use?
or you just wanna play games?
if you just wanna play games,
wait until weekends, its just 2 more days."

in his head he must be cursing and swearing at me,
"i only wanna use for a while also cannot meh?"
but i know if he starts playing,
he'll not pack his bag and tmr he's gonna get scolding!

likewise, i admit i struggle alot myself.
wrestling wif God,
"i only wanna.. also cannot meh?"
but He has better plans for me.

when i say He has better plans for me,
i'm being v honest wif myself and say,
"anw, what i want, You also won't give now,
i won't want anymore.."

and the whole cycle of self-pity starts.
so a constant reminder and prayer in my daily life,
is that i be refreshed in His will for me!
and that my heart will soften for His will to be done!

it is so difficult, but mandatory.
such is life..