aspirations.

its an inevitable thing to haf dreams and aspirations.
when we were young,
our parents and teachers seemed to be in cahoots
on urging kids to dream big, aim far..

when we were young,
just barely tapping into our faculty of knowledge
and faculty of memory-retention.
our dean of brain seems to be reporting for work early..

we were happy pple,
thinking we can rule the world wif our aspirations!
that is why we can't wait to grow up,
to be 'eligible' to live out our dreams and conquer dragons.

but as time goes by, and it usually starts around age 10.
when in the past, banding the kids to different streams.
inadvertently etching an invisible yet real label on their backs,
seemingly telling them that they're only dis good.

and that's when our dreams get further away.
sometimes the dreams are there to motivate us,
most of the time, its just there to haunt us.
at least the latter's for me..

just to share, i had a couple of childhood ambitions.
namely a lawyer, and an actor.
but the former was long abandoned,
coz i was in EM2, apparently not that bright..

so i thought to myself,
there goes my chance of being a lawyer.
it is ONLY a dream that i can see
off the television shows or newspapers..

and den suddenly, ever since i joined my current firm.
the dream jumped back alive in my dead heart..
suddenly, being a lawyer isn't that big a deal.
i decided to pounce on that dream and forge ahead.

and den, you guys know the story.
little desmond fell back on the floor,
thinking, "told you that you're not bright enough?"
its back to square one.

so i guess, my next dream to be shattered
would be to become an actor i guess?
i won't be surprised that i'll find myself in a media firm,
getting all in the "you're not qualified.." saga over again.

but don't worry guys, i'm not discouraged.
although there're frequent bouts of
"what on earth am i here for.."
and i'll be scooped up from my self-pity.

its becoming a cycle that i wouldn't call it vicious.
i think it just prepares me to be less hopeful in worldly dreams,
and be more hopeful in the eternal reality.
honestly, i really can't wait to get Home..

i do haf a success story though.
i rmb when i was 19,
while everybody should be diligent in their studies,
i chose to 'excel' in my driving lessons and tests!

i passed all my theories on the first attempt,
and i thought that was a pretty good start.
at least i'm good at something huh.
but not for long..

when i had my first few driving lessons on the road,
the thought that came to my mind was
"i don't think driving's for me.."
i just get railed at time and again during lessons!

there were a few occasions where i really dreaded lessons,
but only because i wanted to get over and done wif.
the test experiences weren't at all rosy.
i only passed on 2nd try..

and look at me,
no major accidents for 4 yrs now.
other than a few bumps on the bumpers.
bumpers are meant to be bumped right?

no scratches, no deaths, no injuries.
i'm quite proud to say that i'm a trusted driver!
to haf pple sleeping in my car rides
speaks alot, don't they?

so my friends who're discouraged,
thinking that your dreams had been smashed
because you're not good enough in the eyes of the world,
take heart and press on!

the learning and rejections are nvr meant to be easy,
coz if they're easy,
more likely than not,
its not a lesson, but a recess time.

so struggles are good,
difficulties and discouragements are good.
but nvr let them get the better of you,
you should in turn be in control of them!

i'll keep you in prayer, folks.
coz aloud or not,
we all know we all struggle wif these discouragements alot.
and i know what i'm saying when i said 'alot'.