haircut.

as most of you might haf realised,
that i chopped almost half the length of my hair.
and the retarded response i get from pple,
it was quite worth it!

but i've also subtlely realised,
that something in me has changed..
i think i've grown to be more patient,
to be more of a 'wait-er'.

inter alia, some of the response were such.
jessie: errreerrrrr.. (wif that trademark face of hers)
des: yeah, i know. i'm just giving pple chance to outshine me!
jessie: eeerrrrrr..... (wif that trademark face of hers)

huimin: your last time hair nicer!
des: i know i know, give it some time..
zing: eh sialah, what happened sia?
des: hahaha, give it 3 wks.

qinghui: (laughs from afar)
*qinghui drags angel and tricia along to laugh wif her*
jacinta: looks at me from afar wif her mouth agape.
des: *turns away shyly*

weiming: eh wah! trying to copy me?
des: hahaha, maybe?
wilbert: wah! err.. nice hair.
des: thanks!

i realised something,
for those who know me for a longer time,
would know that i'm a perfectionist.
and a person who puts hairstyles in high regard.

given the des-old-mond,
he'd haf gone to cut botak straightaway.
instead of being not here nor there..
he'll rather restart his hairstyle!

but now, des-new-mond,
he endured the laughs and jeers from pple!
and found out that his security no longer binds wif looks,
but more of confidence in the Lord.

he took it in good fun and stride,
as he sees pple.
he knows deep down,
that dis hairstyle is not gonna be permanent..

seeking perfection even in the present,
will somehow pose as a barrier
to allow God to work in us.
we sometimes take too much ownership in our lives..

we think we own the 24hrs a day,
we think we own our job, our studies,
we think we own our family,
we think we own our lives.

but when we think we own something,
nobody else is allowed to touch or change it.
that explains why
the more we think we own, the more we get disappointed.

coz things just didn't go our way.
coz what we want didn't materialise.
a sense of ownership and responsibility
draws a thin line wif pride and hardened hearts..

as a worship leader,
if i were to be so consumed wif the fact that
the band is in my command,
there won't be any space for God at all.

and that will make my worship
to God, be to me..
that is outright heresy!
a detestable sight in the heavens and the hades.

i took too much ownership on my future,
that i get so disappointed wif it.
sometimes i pray that i commit my life to God
out of protocol and obligation..

the only way, or rather, the better way,
to be able to commit our lives to God.
is not by saying it aloud, or blogging it,
but to lose 'dictatorship' of our lives.

dis 24hrs is entrusted to us,
its not an entitlement.
dis career or sch is entrusted to us,
its not an entitlement.

as i was reading the bible last night,
it talked abt the reknown parable of the talents.
i thought its just so apt
to share it here in context wif the above.

the master entrusted 5, 2 and 1 talents
to each of his servant in view of their individual capabilities.
some day, the master will come back,
and we're to return the talents to Him!

so these many many 24hrs our Master entrusted us,
these careers, spouses, families, money, friends,
are entrusted to us.
so that one fine day, we'll return our Master what belongs to Him!

sometimes we think "i worked hard for these.. its mine"
maybe we might wanna try thinking of it as,
"Lord, these i worked hard for You! may You be pleased.."
we may find that life will be more meaningful, happier.