friends.

once, my friend said to me.
"friends are seasonal."
i didn't agree..
but now i think i have to.

ytd, my friend told me.
"must take that dangerous thought out."
i didn't know how to..
but i guess i have to.

today, my friend told me.
"i hope you know you matter to me."
i didn't know why i would..
but i really hope its true.

many times,
my non-christian friends will ask me.
"eh, you all keep calling each other bro,
you don't feel that its abit fake meh?"

i replied,
"its personal preference,
just like how i like to call you 'eh'"
we laughed.

on 2 jan,
one of my friends
who liked to call pple 'bro',
wished me a 'happy new yr' in dis fashion.

"bro, 25 bucks for jap dinner"
for a moment i stop short.
thinking, "what?!"
but of coz i replied, "yep, sure. btw, happy new yr!"

so i guess sometimes,
when we do something for our friends.
the effort we put in,
we'd inevitably hope that something will reciprocate.

but guess what?
most of the time we'll be disappointed.
what's more..
we've to deal wif our expectations ourselves.

but can anybody really not expect?
expecting somebody not to expect is alr an expectation.
i don't know what the bible said abt expectation.
but i know the bible said to wait wif an expectant heart.

i'm sure many of you feel lonely at times,
feel unloved, feel invisible.
but i'd like to encourage you..
you still haf me.

i meant what i said.
you really can call me anytime of the day.
and i'll make time to listen to you!
only if you wanna share wif me..

but up till now,
till dis day.
i've read so many blogs..
i found none that says the same.

so when i'm in trouble,
who can i call?
when i need somebody to listen,
who is willing to listen?

recently, i had a brush wif a good friend of mine.
i don't know if its mutual,
but that friend was somebody
i would call out for random lunches and dinners.

but we disagreed,
and my friend said 3 points of flaws abt me.
which happened to be quite personal..
i wouldn't deny that i was hurt.

maybe what my friend said was true.
that i'm unapproachable,
hot-headed and not trusting pple enough.
maybe i just can't meet up to my friend's expectations.

but i really wanna urge pple who reads dis blog,
if you ever feel lonely.
please don't be.
coz you still have me!

anybody who wants supper or calls,
who needs a lift, or a ride home.
i'll be there at my best capacity!
those who really know me, knows i can deliver.

in the meantime,
if you feel you cannot talk to anyone.
or feel that you're handling dis alone,
don't worry, you're not.

coz God is there to carry you through.
whether you like it or not,
whether you want it or not.
our God will not leave you in the lurch..

someday, somehow..
i'll learn how to be a friend.
a friend who is all-seasons.
a friend who doesn't expect..

for those whom i've lost contact,
or 'quarrelled' wif.
i'm sorry, and i hope you give me some time.
i'm figuring it out..

if you happen to see me at the kopitiam,
eating alone.
and you're not ashamed of me,
do sit and lunch wif me ya?

if you happen to not see me in church,
for a few weeks.
and you think i'm worthy to be in the same church as you,
do ring me and show that you care ya?

coz if that happens to any of you.
i'll sit wif you.
i'll ring you up.
and i'll call you out..

i hope there'll be pple at my wake.
coz they miss me,
and not coz their friends are there,
or out of obligation..