accountability.

i was talking to a very learned friend of mine.
as we were talking,
we inevitably touched on the topic of the abovementioned.
and many thoughts struck me..

to what extent should authorities be accountable?
what is considered possessive,
and what then is considered lackadaisical?
where is the grey line?

in my lifetime,
i was honoured to be given opportunities to lead.
i was appointed section commander in army,
band leader in the youth ministry and many more.

even being a ridiculously old older brother.
it talks abt accountability..
how much is too much?
and how much is too little?

i was told quite a while back,
a wise man told me dis,
"leadership is not abt being impt,
its how your legacy prosper without you"

he didn't exactly use the word legacy or prosper,
but i think he meant that.
and if you think abt it,
it is not just abt prospering or abt legacies.

its abt humility,
making yourself the background,
instead of the subject.
it talks abt 'letting them..'

so back to accountability,
we may very well cross the line and be possessive
if we're 'too serious' abt our work.
meaning, we must be included in every area of their lives.

i rmb once,
when i brought my bro out.
it was one of my first few times,
i was over-protective.

everywhere he went,
i must hold his hand.
everything he eats,
i must know that its healthy and not too hot.

and when i brought him home safely,
i thought i did a brilliant job!
and so i asked him the 'fatal question',
"joe, did you enjoy yourself today?"

i was damn confident,
or even cocky and asked wif a smirk!
and he said,
"i don't want you to bring me out next time, i want mummy."

i was disappointed at the ans,
and to a point, appalled.
and i asked why,
he said, "this one cannot, that one cannot"

so i ruffled his hair,
and went back to my room and thought.
why did he say that?
didn't he know it was for his own good?

i asked my dad,
was i lidat last time.
he said, "ya. that's how i learnt to let go."
in mandarin..

and i thought to myself again.
maybe if i let him run and fall,
he'll learn the lesson better than
being warned but nvr experienced..

i guess sometimes,
we all know its for our own good.
and in dis instance,
i knew its for his own good.

but he doesn't know,
and we've no right to deprive them of learning.
we can keep a close watch,
but should nvr stare at them..

i guess for me,
accountability is something i've gotta learn.
letting go and trust God to protect them,
is what i ought to be learning.

and not what kinda reprimanding methods work best.
whether is it kneeling on bottle caps or durian shells,
thin canes or thicker ones.
but in faith and love, we trust in God..

it is tough,
and i thank God for giving me opportunities to learn.
hard way or easy way,
i'm still learning anyways..