amazing.

"Therefore, since we have been justified through faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have gained access by faith into this grace in which we now stand. And we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. Not only so, but we also rejoice in our sufferings, because we know that SUFFERING PRODUCES PERSEVERANCE; PERSERVERANCE, CHARACTER; AND CHARACTER, HOPE. AND HOPE DOES NOT DISAPPOINT US, BECAUSE GOD HAS POURED OUT HIS LOVE INTO OUR HEARTS BY THE HOLY SPIRIT WHOM HE HAS GIVEN US."

Romans 5:1-5

ytd as i was on the way home,
there was a surge of joy
that just burst through my heart!
an indescribable joy..

i wonder if any of you had felt it before,
but at that instance,
i knew through my mind, heart and soul.
it was the joy of the Lord~!

it was so uncontainable,
i nodded my head in beat and grinned in the mrt.
i sang ALOUD while plugged into my mp3
while walking from the mrt station back home.

there was dis immense joy in me,
so powerful.
it was as though i had enough energy to run 20km!
from my home to city hall!

"the joy of the Lord is my strength."
the true meaning was experienced last night.
so powerful, so powerful..
thank You Lord!!

although it was just a feeling,
just an emotion or expression.
i thank God for it for i know that the Lord is wif me!
even when i'm in the rut of my life now..

the joy that i felt last night just didnt make sense.
not as if SMU called me for an interview,
not as if i've a girlfriend..
the joy i felt last night was way better than that!

it was much more real than any other emotions on earth.
it was more than a passing emotion to me.
it was a revelation, a benchmark.
it was an answer to my carnal 'sufferings'.

it was as though the Holy Spirit within me,
is yelling dis
"dis is what joy is! dis is what God wants to give you!"
it was like a sample or a tester or a taste of God's goodness.

and now, because i know what joy feels like,
i'd say i'm more confident to know what
the peace of the Lord feels like.
and with these, i know more accurately when God approves.

i rmb i asked mingjie some years ago,
"how you know God is approving of you and adeline?"
he smirked and i could sense his nonsense underway,
i said, "no nonsense, i'm serious."

so he wiped that smirk away and thought for a while,
it was as though amidst the noises of our surrounding
his words pierced through my drums as he uttered,
"you'll feel dis sense of peace and joy, not just you but both of you."

from then, i used that as a benchmark
as to whether God is approving or not.
but i've to admit,
i followed my heart, more than i followed Him.

and i've no complaints for my brunt now.
but in fact, i rejoice in jubilee and thanksgiving
that He put me through all these!
coz now i know what His 'signs' look like.

so now after all the 'sufferings' and heartaches,
i've a clearer picture of what it is all abt.
and even if i don't haf a gf,
the joy of the Lord will be enough to sustain me!

i chanced upon the verse above,
and i thought, "wow, how amazing."
it was only through sufferings,
that character and ultimately, hope can be fostered.

my friends who are struggling in your own areas,
take heart and rejoice!
for it is a sign, that God is bringing you
nearer to character, and consequently, HOPE!

and my friends,
even when things seem so impossible.
even when things doesn't seem to make any sense!
when holding on seems to be the most sane way out.

i encourage you,
to let go, let Him.
for He is good, He's above all things.
nothing is impossible for Him!

absolutely NOTHING!
c'mon, for goodness sake
He made the entire universe,
why won't He allow you your heart's desires!

it is only if it is fitting to Him,
that's where faith and trust come in.
He knows the perfect distance btw earth and sun,
so that we can get nice tans and not barbequed.

why doubt Him for knowing what is best for you,
why doubt Him for knowing when is best for you?
He is above all things,
honour Him, and He will honour you.

His ways are higher than ours,
only if we can be more obedient and trusting.
He'd shown me a fraction of His goodness,
i'm sure He'll show you if you allow Him to!