boyagain.

just came back from my meet-up wif my guys!
my army guys.
they're still the same!
haven't heard their vulgarities in the longest time man!

but they're still the same,
more mischievous now.
hear them say how they treat the new sergeants,
i'm so glad i ord-ed!

and i came home,
feeling the adrenalin from the supper.
i bathed and i tried to sit down and do qt,
spend time wif Him.

but i had the weirdest feeling.
felt no connection,
no peace,
no blessings!

i struggled to read through the lines,
but my conscience brought my eyes back to the previous line.
before i could complete the paragraph,
i had to rethink what i just read.

it was so 'dark',
and unknowing..
it was so 'lonely'
and burdening.

i closed my books,
as well as my eyes.
i pleaded wif the Lord to be back wif me.
i sensed nothing.

i prayed again,
and tried reading my material.
i knew nothing was going in,
and i left the books unclosed dis time.

wondering what's going on.
search my heart, oh Lord!
unveil my divine eyes,
and reveal my wrongs to me..

i wanna be where you are,
it was too dark in there.
i couldn't see anything.
where is Your Word that lights up my path?

Father, i pray that You'll align me with You again.
i wanna love You and not the doctrines.
i wanna spend time wif You
and not trying to be perfect in the laws.

Jesus, i wanna go back to You.
Jesus, i know i've strayed away unknowingly.
Jesus, thank You for showing me my 'empty r/s' wif You.
Jesus, i wanna be filled with the Holy Spirit once again!

in Jesus name i sincerely ask,
Amen.