err.

"you think God will make a fool out of us?"
somebody asked me that today.
i didn't answer though.
you think?

recently i've been pondering again.
what am i doing all these for?
why did i even bother to help build authentic r/s?

some asked me "are u doing this for a replacement for some hurts in ur life?"
maybe?
some asked me "are u in love?"
nope.

sometimes i asked myself,
what am i working towards.
being a result-motivated person..
obviously i needed assurance after some time.
and honestly i did haf them.
i thought i did well.

and through all these, i've learnt quite a bit.
God assured me that i was walking the right way.
pple encouraged me to press on.
thanks..

on another hand,
discouragements or rather, lies
crept into my thoughts these weeks.

inferiority complex again.
feeling so lousy knowing that pple's better than me in almost all areas.
what am i good in actually?
what do i excel in?

did God made me out of boredom?
or did He missed my talent out?
DEFINITELY NOT!
so then, what am i good in?

i believe quite a few pple can identify wif me.
there's always somebody better.
oh man,
actually i really don't know what i'm typing.
but at least i know these are my thoughts.
that are processing as i'm typing.
incoherent, discouraging.

nonetheless, i'll press on!
for His kingdom,
with His grace,
i'll do it to my best.

even if other pple can do better,
i'll do my best!
there must be a reason for these.
there must be.

whoever's out there and read dis.
and if u're feeling bored,
pls pray for me.

too many things are clouding my mind.
u don't hafta be affected or burdened by what i'm feeling.
but just lift ourselves to the Lord,
knowing and trusting that He'll carry us through.
amen.