wishlist.

Dear God,
could you please grant my wishes?
its not really impossible,
coz nothing is too difficult for You right?

okay okay,
why not this, God..
even if You don't approve,
at least read through it and tell me why not?

okay Lord,
here comes my wishlist.

1. i wish i could be less sensitive
   and more magnanimous
2. i wish i've a smarter/wiser brain
   so that i can be a useful man on earth
3. i wish i have a girlfriend,
   whom i can love and pamper.
4. if no 3 is too premature,
   can i at least know who is it?
   (can show me through a dream or a nudge?)
5. i wish i can be less hot-tempered
6. i wish i can be a blessing unto others,
   they don't hafta acknowledge if its hard for them to.

Lord, i've realised how selfish i am.
that i sing to You week in week out,
how much i wanna serve You,
how much i love You.

but looking at my wishlist,
NONE of the above has Your name on it.
Lord, convict me..
for i've neglected You over and over again.

i'm hurting pretty bad in me,
but i'm not sure why.
i haf all the ans to my doubts,
but i'm just not satisfied.

Lord, to be honest wif You.
sometimes i really feel like giving up.
because being a christian is so tough,
what more a christian leader..

Jesus, You've made the heavens and the earth.
and You've meticulously made me.
please Lord, tell me where to go.
for i am feeling so lost now.

each day i live my life wif a simple
and generic goal.
which is to be a blessing to pple around me.
to fly Your flag up high.

but Lord,
each time i go out of my comfort zone to try,
i get discouraged and pushed back.
now i'm tired of trying.

Father, i've also realised
that my temper these days had been really bad!
my impatience level's running an all-time high.
what's happening Lord?

is it because dis is the real me?
if it is, den Lord i'm unclean.
and i need You to clean me,
for i can't see where my dirt is..

if i'm walking in Your ways,
listening to what You've set out on the tablets,
the 2nd commandment,
Honour your parents..

den why am i still where i am today?
unchanged since 6 yrs ago.
why do i still feel so..
confined?

i don't know.. it's just so hard.