enough.

didn't get to practice SAT for 2 nights alr.
hospital visit and don's 21st respectively..
a certain discipline must be inculcated,
when it comes to getting results in an insane world.

tonight, i'll make it a point to go straight home.
i'll spend at least 3hrs catching up.
and if my brain's still active,
i'll practice some more.

saw a lil bit of the Olympics Opening Ceremony ytd.
can't help but felt a weird tinge in my heart..
its a feeling i get when i am envious,
inspired, regret and even jealous.

michael phelps as you've seen a time too many.
by now, he's alr an 'Elite Olympian'.
at a sleek age of 23,
merely a yr my senior.

look at where he is now,
and where i am.
look at tao li, 18.
where is she and where i am..

so i asked pauline, mayteng and mark casually.
"what is one thing in your life which you're proud
to haf achieved right up til dis day?"
hahhaha.

pauline cheekily ans:
quitting my job at age of 30 to take a yr's break.

mayteng pondered and replied:
doing well in my 'O' levels, while studying in ITE.

mark said:
completing my diploma lor..

so at any one point in anybody's life,
regardless of language, race and religion.
you'll haf achieved something in life..
and what's mine?

i honestly thought back,
and found no clue to my hall of fame.
what haf i achieved in my life,
that i'm really proud of?

mark told me dis thereafter.
"you must always look on the brighter side of life.
be thankful that you've a desk-bound job now.
God could've only offered you
a cleaner's job or an odd-job"

that got me thinking.

mayteng adds on saying,
"we'll always want more.
once we haf something that we once wished for,
we'll want further more.
we'll always be in want."

i kept quiet.

i wanna get into law school.
i wanna do well and be a lawyer,
and then finally a member of the parliament.
and then?

but all these i kept in my mind,
reflecting on what mark and mayteng said.
i realised i'm blessed.
God had been kind to me.

i don't need achievements,
what i need is encouragement.
i don't need worldly encouragements,
what i need is to know my self-worth in God.

but actually,
deep down, i really wanna excel in something.
so that my parents can be proud of me,
so that i can be proud of myself.

i really wanna haf something to be proud of.
i really wanna BE somebody.
and i really want you..
these 3 things, i've been struggling wif SO HARD!!